What are women over 50 searching for in the millennium?

What are women over 50 searching for in the millennium?

Yesterday I was looking at some old photos from my childhood taken with my maternal grandmother; she died not much over the age of 50, so I never really got to know her. I know she was a very courageous lady. She survived fleeing Ireland during the uprising, and being set on fire from clearing cinders from the fire; later giving birth to my mum. It was declared a miracle as she turned up at the hospital saying “I think I am in labour”. I would have loved to have known her.

My paternal grandmother had my dad and his twin sister very late in life, and after; both her mind and her body never really recovered. I simply can’t imagine how that would have been for her; no real understanding of post natal depression, and very little after care. So my dad and his twin sister were pretty much brought up by their siblings. I know she was a very creative lady. Her ancestors linked to incredible silk printers and designers. I also know that like many women with returning husbands from World War 1, their lives would be changed forever. I often wonder what they would make of my life and the path I have chosen, immersed in my passion to help other women.

Reflecting on this really makes me think about how lucky I am to have been brought up in an age where women have so much more freedom and choice. What does that really mean though? I have been reading “Up then Brave Women” by Michael Herbert recently. It’s a fascinating book about Manchester’s radical women from 1819-1918. With much talk about the imminent film “Peterloo”; there is a really informative section on the women at Peterloo. It talks about women from Middleton, my home town, bearing slogans “Unity and Strength” and “Suffrage Universal”; and Saddleworth, Lees and Mossley women bearing banners with “Equal Representation or Death Unite and be free”.

Women who came together, united because they wanted to change the misery and suffering of women and children, campaigning for social change and political progress. 168 women were injured at Peterloo; 4 sadly died from their injuries. The role of women at Peterloo would spark further Campaigns and Movements that would see women having the vote and securing seats in Parliament. I am sure that many of those women dreamt that our generation of women would live in a very different world, and we do. However 100 years on, there is still much work to be done regarding the inequality of decision making powers and economic participation of women.

From a very young age all I ever wanted to do was teach, By the time I was 16 I was told that girls like me never went to University; so I didn’t. It took me some 20 years, the Open University, and meeting some truly great people, to prove to myself that they were wrong. Those words however created a “Not Good Enough Girl” and her sister “Burn out Girl”. When we give too much power to negative thoughts and words we begin to lose parts of who we truly are; it wasn’t the words she said to me, it was the meaning I gave those words, and what I allowed those words to do to my life. There is a quote I love “Nothing in Life has any meaning except the meaning you give to it”; it is so true.

You see the “not good enough girl” followed me around at every stage of my journey; she was so much louder when others didn’t support my ideas. I have learnt however from this incredible journey that you must never let that matter. Your mind and you are unique, you must celebrate that always. If things don’t work the first time try again; if that doesn’t work try again; keep trying and you will get there; and that moment wow. Founding Inspire Women Oldham has also shown me the effects of negative labelling in so many other women. Labels carried like a sack on your back until you meet someone who creates a space, believes in you, and encourages you to shine.

If you Google “Women over 50”

it is very interesting what you see, and absolutely not what I believe to be a true reflection of women over 50. Top searches include:

  • The sexiest women over 50
  • Best haircuts for women over 50
  • Best dating sites for women over 50
  • Beautiful women over 50
  • Dresses for women over 50

Whilst I love a great haircut and would love to be ranked one of the most beautiful women over 50! I am certain just from the women I know who are over 50, life is so much richer than that, and that being over 50 for me has been so incredibly liberating. My sons are grown and are creating new lives with their partners. Paul and I are being reminded of life before the kids; which I have to say has been wonderful! Not that I don’t miss them, just great to be spontaneous- oh and the washing! I definitely don’t miss that! When they were younger it was a real juggling act and I often felt guilty when work and learning replaced family outings- Paul and the boys going out without me. When I see the great men they have become I know all of that thinking was just a waste of energy; hurting me and reinforcing the “not good enough girl”.

It’s incredible to think that my High School Domestic Science Classes focused on “How to be a Good Wife”; and it’s not really that long ago! Our Teacher was really lovely however her thinking was not really fitting for the revolution that was happening in the late 60’s and early 70’s. I shared that story recently with a group of young women who gasped and asked me what domestic science was! So I hit 50 just over two years ago; and when I say hit I honestly feel that is the best way to describe it. Another milestone; another “what are you going to do next”?

At 40 I began the journey of

developing the early ideas of Inspire Women Oldham, and Finding Me; an empowerment Programme I wrote for women, who sparked an incredible journey in me and many other women. Inspire Women was progressing well and I felt it was time I focused on what the next ten years would look like with my Coaching Business; Visible Breakthrough Coaching. So I took myself off to America to share my work, and to do some learning. I will share my American adventures again, which include being trapped in a bathroom after 20 hours of travelling with the doorknob in my hand, in a forest, and on my own! And a 6 hour journey in a minibus full of Americans in a pink wig! I always seem to attract a story when I’m travelling.

The last two years have been an incredible journey of ups and downs; of pushing myself to learn and do things I would never have imagined possible, and in a backdrop of “shouldn’t you be slowing down now”! I wanted to try and reach more women who were quite simply feeling they have been holding back from achieving their potential and true happiness. I am also passionate about helping women in business achieve business success whilst maintaining personal wellbeing, especially women who are growing coaching, wellbeing and holistic businesses. Both meant I had to push myself to become more visible and that was a whole journey in itself.

In my recent Newsletter I wrote about being persuaded to put my face on an exhibition banner; and whilst setting up the stand; unrolling the banner; I realised my face was the size of a car door and that there was no being invisible anymore! I don’t think women naturally talk openly about their achievements; or indeed have their face printed on exhibition banners! I had a meet recently with Anj Handa from Inspiring Women Changemakers, and something she said to me really struck a chord “ If you have done those things you are sharing information; it’s not ego”; how else do people find out about you?” So I guess my banner and my website are here to stay, and becoming more visible is something I need to get use to.

retreat

If you are a woman who wants to improve her life balance and wellbeing;

or maybe you are growing a business and would like some help with that; especially if you are undervaluing your worth you might like to join me at one my Autumn Retreats, or alternatively join me on line at www.visiblebreakthroughcoaching.com You can find out more about my Wellbeing Retreats here and my Women in Business Retreats here. You can find out more about my Coaching Services here and my journey here.

I would love to hear stories from other women over 50; especially what you are searching for in the millennium that goes beyond, haircuts, dresses and dating sites!

External sites that may be of interest to you:

Visible Breakthrough Coaching 

Inspire Women Oldham 

Inspiring Women Changemakers 

Up then Brave Women 

Peterloo Film 

The Open University

Thank you to Sally Bonnie of Visible Breakthrough Coaching for this blog. 

To find out more about her work please visit the website listed.

Jude Gidney - Editor
Author: Jude Gidney - Editor

If you would like to share an interesting story, achievement, photo or something you just want to happily shout about please send it in an email to hello@saddleworthlife.com We'd ❤ to hear from you!!

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