February, month of relationships

February, month of relationships

Relationships.  February is the month of ‘relationship realisations’ with Valentines Day.  Engagements, weddings, roses, chocolates, declarations of love either privately or publicly, secretly or openly for all ages.

With relationships comes communication so how good are yours?  

We ‘communicate’ our thoughts and feelings in various ways – more than just the words we choose to use.   Our body language and instincts that we too often these days don’t listen to or have lost the art of listening to; the words we choose are sometimes clumsy and unclear for the message we actually intend and want to send to another; we are also unaware of the message (true messages) that our voice sends out – tones that indicate irritation or high pitch or low, when asking questions or threateningly deep.

Your communication skills can be developed, enhanced and learn how to improve them. 

• Be clear in the message you want to send
• Choose how best you want to send it – written, verbal, pictures, face to face or not etc
• The timing too is important – the impact is lost when it is said too late rather than in the moment perhaps or too soon as well
• Think about who will be receiving the message – can they understand what and how you tell them, will they have the capacity to hear you and really understand what you want them to?
• The place too – public or private, home or work, it matters if you and they feel comfortable or not – distractions mean you cannot listen fully or be able to clarify with questions

Just because you know what you want to say and practice the right words, those words may be misinterpreted or misunderstood because we each have our own experiences and expectations that ‘filter’ what we see and hear, how we understanding the word and messages around us.

The best way to ensure others hear – really hear – what you intend them to is to ask them to repeat their understanding, answer their questions clearly and encourage discussion and even debate about the situation so that it embeds the situation and circumstances – not a one way message rather than a conversation that engages all parties’

Author: Jude Gidney - Editor

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