Mindful Christmas Part 1

Mindful Christmas

Christmas: a time of year that can be challenging both in respect of our family relationships and our personal wellbeing.  We can find ourselves carrying the heavy burden of expectations, both from external sources like families and friends and also from our own ideas of what a ‘perfect’ Christmas ‘should’ involve.  Stress and anxiety may be frequent companions whilst we shop for long lists of presents, plan and cook extravagant dinners and navigate various family gatherings…but it doesn’t have to be that way, folks!  Calm Connections would like to offer you some alternative perspectives and tips to enjoy a balanced, peaceful, mindful and loving Christmas… 

1 Eat and drink mindfully

Avoid the bloated, sleepy feeling brought on by excessive indulgence in pigs in blankets, mince pies and sherry – consume mindfully, savouring every mouthful and stopping when you have had enough.

 2 Mindful relationships

Spending Christmas with our families or origin can result in us falling back into historic behaviour patterns with our parents and siblings, which often leads to tension and conflict.  Communicating mindfully can help us navigate our way through the festive period and build positive connections with our nearest and dearest:

• Connect to others on a meaningful level: be fully present, remain open and curious and listen to them with patience, compassion and acceptance. Rather than judging them, listen with the intent to understand, which will make them feel valued and respected.
• You may find yourself faced with a relative that ‘pushes your buttons’; it may be a sibling or parent who is acting out their old behaviour patterns of criticism, competitiveness, perfectionism, control or suchlike. If this happens, try not to get caught up in the heat of the moment.  Instead:
  • Acknowledge that you cannot control others but you can control your own reaction to them.
  • Choose to be the calm one in the room. Take a deep breath, smile and refuse to get drawn into a battle;
  • Identify the good in them; focus upon the qualities you appreciate in them and spread kindness and compassion; and
• Allow yourself and others to feel their full range of emotions – from loving warmth and celebration, to bitterness and frustration caused by quarrels, or sadness and loneliness triggered by memories of lost loved ones. We do not have to react to or get overwhelmed by such emotions; rather, we can mindfully observe whatever emotions arise, simply letting them pass through our awareness with acceptance and without judgement. 
• Maintain healthy If you feel overwhelmed by visitors or tiredness, openly and honestly express your feelings and take ownership for your own wellbeing.

 3 Take a mindfulness time out

Feeling stressed, overwhelmed, angry or frustrated?  Find a quiet place, close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a few minutes.  Maybe recite a calming mantra such as “I love my family and I wish to stay calm in this moment.”

Read Mindful Christmas Part 2 here.

Author: Jude Gidney - Editor

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