Finding Me – Lesley’s Story
Lesley’s Story
…as told by Sally Bonnie of Inspire Women Oldham
Lesley has received a National Learning Award; received a standing ovation at an event where she shared her story and is about to deliver a creative writing session she has designed herself for women at the Centre. Part of our “Give it a Go Campaign”. She is an amazing poet, her presence creates a beautiful peace and her wicked sense of humour is one of the reasons she is loved so much. It is hard to imagine that she spent 6 years isolated, anxious and suffering.
Lesley is 48 and is a wonderful example of the power of social solutions that sadly often are not recognised or considered for their value and impact, sitting outside of mainstream health services. We live in a different space, speak a different language, work at a different pace and see the journey through a different lens.
When I first met Lesley in 2015 she had no less than 10 labels that over 6 years had been used to define and judge her. I saw a woman scared of life and desperately searching for change. Lesley wasn’t alone and she began her journey with us along with 14 other women, some of whom she works alongside now supporting the development and running of the Women Centre in Oldham. Lesley is part of an amazing group of women who have shed their labels; believe strongly in the power of women supporting other women and inspire other women every day with their stories of courage and achievement.
In 2009 Lesley suffered a nervous breakdown, diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety she became agoraphobic, losing contact with the outside world she became lonely and isolated. After being on medication for 3 months with no noticeable improvement Lesley was referred to a Counsellor who didn’t feel she could help her. Despite this declaration of no hope she saw Lesley for 10 weeks; Lesley returned to the Doctor for more medication. Her counselling stopped and the GP referred her to The Beaches and a mental health social worker. Lesley didn’t feel any of the support helped her; she began self harming and thought about death a lot of the time. Lesley was referred to a psychologist who medicated her further and after 18 months he decided she needed to see someone else; another psychologist she waited 3 years to see; her agoraphobia and self harming continued. After seeing the psychologist for 6 months she was told the support would have to stop and she was referred to a Depression Group. Lesley attended the sessions for 3 weeks, it closed due to lack of numbers.
It was whilst at this Centre she saw a leaflet about a service Positive Steps were running and she called them. This call would prove to be the spark that opened up the possibility of a new life for Lesley. Lesley met a worker Debbie who spent many hours slowly supporting Lesley to re-engage with life. It was Debbie who brought Lesley to meet me in January 2015, to engage on the Finding Me Programme. Debbie and I shared a similar ethos and over the years she has played a huge part in helping women to see that a different life was possible. She is incredibly special. Lesley began the Programme along with a group of women who sadly shared similar stories, and who slowly began to transform. I often reflect on how privileged I am to be part of their journeys. I asked Lesley to say a little about the turning point in her life.
“It took so much courage to go to the Finding Me Course but with Debbie’s help I felt able to try. It was like a light had entered my life, finally something worked. The course was amazing and after it finished I began gifting time with Inspire. I stopped self harming and I believed I had a future to look forward to. I wasn’t being judged, none of the labels that had been previously attached to me mattered anymore. I realised that a lot of my pain was attached to thinking about the past, as long as I was in that space of victimisation I was suffering, there is no release from suffering in that place.
The ethos of Inspire is a kind and compassionate one where you are made to feel that you and your life are important. I was connected to others in a positive way that wasn’t about trying to fix me, I didn’t need fixing I just needed to be around people who could show me how to feel more positive about myself and understand that mental healing would lead to my emotional healing. Finding Me and Inspire has given me my life back and saved me from a horrible existence. I feel so much more positive about my life; I spend much less time in waiting rooms and am ready to start considering coming off medication. I now recognise that I have a lot to give, I always have, I just needed to “Find Me.”
Find out more about Inspire Women Oldham by clicking here.
Author: Jude Gidney - Editor
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